Thursday, February 13, 2014
Men define my life.
I Love my mom so, so much. She has been there for me and will do anything I ask.
But Men seem to define my life.
Starting as a little girl. My daddy and my Papa made a huge impact on my life.
Good and bad.
And now my husband and my son.
The song Wing in the fire is so much the three older men I have just mentioned.
I pray my son goes the way of me more than them, but time will tell.
They try/tried to be the best men they knew how.
And I know they failed and slid a few times each.
Still they were the best men they knew how.
My daddy was a man with many flaws, its true.
I seen them even as a young girl. But he taught me GOD. He taught me to follow my heart.
He taught me that even if you make a mistake you can show your sorry, Admit it and try to be better.
He taught me what I wanted and what I didn't want in a husband.
I cried for him as a divorced man. I hated seeing him sad and alone. And now my heart aches for men who made the wrong choices. I'm a fixer, and I have to remind myself I cant fix everything for everyone.
My papa was a witty man. He could sing a song as he made up and make you laugh or cry off the top of his head. He wasn't really a Christian man until the last few years of his life. But I could see God in him. Even if he tried to hide it. He loved deeper than what it appeared. He was a bit cranky at times. But that was just who he was. I'm the same. :)
A little cranky just makes us more interesting, that's all.
And even if he was against something his whole life, if he loved someone he could change his mind.
Granny knows who I am talking about. And I respect him for that more than he ever knew. And no, its not me I am talking about.
My husband while he has his faults, I think I respect more than anyone. For one reason.
He loves me. That is a lot. He doesn't have to be with me, He doesn't have to take care of me. He picks me up when I fall. He puts my shoes and socks on for me. He lifts me in the car.
He holds my hand when we walk so I don't fall. he wipes my tears when I cry. And even lifts me from the tub when I need it. No man has to do that. They don't have to love me.
I may require full care one day, and he would still be there. He doesn't care.
Hes not ashamed of me. He doesn't think my disability is ugly, or the way I walk.
He has his times where he needs forgiven, but what man doesn't? I know some of you may see things you don't understand. But its the things you don't see. I take care of him, and he takes care of me.
I don't think I could do the same. If the roles were reversed, I'm not sure I could commit my life to someone that was like me.
And that makes him one of the best men I know.
All three are truly An Angel with No Halo, and One Wing in the Fire.
There are many things that developed me into this creature I am today.
And I probably couldn't tell you them all. But my memories that stand out the most
tell me its these men that had the greatest impact.
My most favorite memory I have is sitting up at night just me and Papa, listening to
the whippoorwill sing.