Defining me.

Men define my life.
 I Love my mom so, so much. She has been there for me and will do anything I ask.
But Men seem to define my life.

Starting as a little girl. My daddy and my Papa made a huge impact on my life.
Good and bad.

And now my husband and my son.
The song Wing in the fire is so much the three older men I have just mentioned.
I pray my son goes the way of me more than them, but time will tell.

They try/tried to be the best men they knew how.
And I know they failed and slid a few times each.
Still they were the best men they knew how.
My daddy was a man with many flaws, its true.
I seen them even as a young girl. But he taught me GOD. He taught me to follow my heart.
He taught me that even if you make a mistake you can show your sorry, Admit it and try to be better.
He taught me what I wanted and what I didn't want in a husband.
I cried for him as a divorced man. I hated seeing him sad and alone. And now my heart aches for men who made the wrong choices. I'm a fixer, and I have to remind myself I cant fix everything for everyone.

My papa was a witty man. He could sing a song as he made up and make you laugh or cry off the top of his head. He wasn't really a Christian man until the last few years of his life. But I could see God in him. Even if he tried to hide it. He loved deeper than what it appeared. He was a bit cranky at times. But that was just who he was. I'm the same. :)
A little cranky just makes us more interesting, that's all.
And even if he was against something his whole life, if he loved someone he could change his mind.
Granny knows who I am talking about. And I respect him for that more than he ever knew. And no, its not me I am talking about.

My husband while he has his faults, I think I respect more than anyone. For one reason.
He loves me. That is a lot. He doesn't have to be with me, He doesn't have to take care of me. He picks me up when I fall. He puts my shoes and socks on for me. He lifts me in the car.
He holds my hand when we walk so I don't fall. he wipes my tears when I cry. And even lifts me from the tub when  I need it. No man has to do that. They don't have to love me.
I may require full care one day, and he would still be there. He doesn't care.
Hes not ashamed of me. He doesn't think my disability is ugly, or the way I walk.
He has his times where he needs forgiven, but what man doesn't? I know some of you may see things you don't understand. But its the things you don't see. I take care of him, and he takes care of me.
I don't think I could do the same. If the roles were reversed, I'm not sure I could commit my life to someone that was like me.
And that makes him one of the best men I know.

All three are truly An Angel with No Halo, and One Wing in the Fire.

There are many things that developed me into this creature I am today.
And I probably couldn't tell you them all. But my memories that stand out the most
tell me its these men that had the greatest impact.
My most favorite memory I have is sitting up at night just me and Papa, listening to
the whippoorwill sing.

Make it Count!

Are you willing to
make 2014 count?

Sometimes I think that we amble along in our life and forget
to stop and think about what we are actually doing.
Then later we go, What am I doing?
What have I done?
I have really messed up, I made the wrong choice, or choices.
They have led me down a path I never thought I might find myself.

And what now?
Well, I wish for a world where there is no what now.
Where we all stop and think about our actions before we headlong leap;
with no thoughts or realization that there WILL be consequences for what we do.
We will more than likely hurt someone that we never wanted to hurt in the first place.
Which may cause us become disgusted with our very own selves in the end.

I realize that our society has become all about instant gratification.
Microwave, vehicle's, Airplanes, anything that will get me there and get it done faster.
But hold up! Slow down, use that brain God gave you.
LIFE is too precious to live so hard and fast.
In the blink of an eye its over, we missed it. We forgot to sit and be happy.

Take time to just watch your child play, look at that beautiful face you made.
You did that; isn't that the most amazing thing in the world?
That child deserves for you to just take a minuet to think before you act.
Take the time to go for a walk, look up at the beautiful sky, all those colors. Look at the ground, the beauty of nature can cleanse your soul. I don't care what you are going through in life, a walk with your thoughts can fix it. It can bring the clarity you have been longing for. Talk to GOD he is listening, even if its been too long since you last talked, he's still there, always waiting and willing.

Is this where you wanted to be? Is this the life you expected of yourself?
If its more than you ever imagined I commend you. Great work!
If its lacking, I challenge you to slow down, take a walk, re-access what you want and demand of yourself.
Its not too late to get your life right. Its not too late to be who you deserve to be, for your self, or for those you love.
Ask for forgiveness if you need too. If they truly loved you they will forgive you,
and if not then maybe they aren't good for you in the first place.

Whatever you do with your life Make it Count!
We only get one.
Breath in the Joy, Breath out the pain.
Let it go, Let out a cry if you need too every once in a while.
Most of all don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.
You are NOT weak if you need help.
It takes a very strong person to ask for help from another.

My wish for you all is to have no regrets.
For you to be the person you set out to be.
To be the person you want to be if you decide you want more.
And if you do want more Now is the time to take action!
Get up and get started on the rest of your life.
MAKE IT COUNT!!