Life's Curve Balls

Do you ever think about when you were younger?
The mistakes you made.
And wonder if you would do things differently.

I do, on occasion.
When I was younger my answer was no,
I would not do anything different.

But you know,
That was probably because I was young and stupid.
I didn’t know any better than to think all my choices were good ones.

I will be 30 this year.
I can not believe I’m that old.
I watch everyone around me keep getting older.
And it seems so odd.

I don’t know why.

But I know I have grown.
I have changed over the years.
I do not feel that I am as dumb, naive or ditsy any longer.

There was a point in my life where I had been home
being a mom for so many years that I lost myself.
I began to have many phobias.
I once considered going on the TV show
Starting Over.

But like I talked about in my first entry,
I figured it out on my own.
I went back to school.
I did regain part of myself.
The part that I liked.

You know this world throws so much at us
that it is so easy sometimes for it to get us down.
You really have to be a strong person to maintain self.
To not just have a break down an give up.

Give up on your dreams and wants and just surrender.
I know people who struggle with what life throws at them.
And I just want to shake them and scream at them.
It will work out!
Decide to be happy and you will!
Put it on paper, it looks better on paper.

We can not hold on to it all.
I wanted to be an actress, a model, or go into advertising.
But you know that just didn’t work out.
It was what I thought I wanted.
But I heard somewhere if you want God to laugh,
tell him your plans.

I don’t think I am fully living up to my potential.
Being at home is best right now,
but that is why I started this blog.
It helps me, retain myself.

It keeps me sane I guess.
Putting down my thoughts and sharing them,
hoping they might even help someone.
That is therapeutic for me.

I really don’t even know what will come out when I sit to write.
Yes I have a few topics I want to do.
But when I sit down I will know the day I am meant to do them.

I really hope I make someones day better
That I open one’s eyes,
Or that one of you at least gets enjoyment from my posts.

Over 500 hits.
That tells me something I think.
Be kind to each other.
We all need that shoulder to lean on some days.