Procrastion, Determantion,and Perseverence

Procrastination.
How Many of you know you have something that needs done
but you put it off?
Ah, I can get to it later.
Its not time pressing..

Yes, My biggest problem it procrastinating.
I have a desire to work on that.
I have Mantras ready to go.
Alas, I'll get to it later...

ha ha yep Its my issue.

This blog for one, is something that stays on my mind.
Yet I don't get to it as diligently as I would like.

I started it as an outlet.
A way to have purpose in my life after a huge life change.
And it did serve it's purpose.
It helped me a lot. Along the way I realized I really wanted to use
it to do one of my favorite things.
Empowering Women.
I did slack off when I found Thirty-One.
I discovered a new outlet to empower women.
I am aware that I can reach more through my blog and I have decided
to try harder to do so.

I want to work more on my writing.
With the Summer over and my big trip to Atlanta for Thirty-One behind me for the year,
I think it's time to get back on a schedule.
As for the blog I don't have a set schedule to give you yet.

But I was not raised to give up or to be a quitter.
Just because I was born with a disability I was not given leniency.
I never heard, "oh its ok, you can't do that."
No I was told, "get out there and do it"
I may not have been much of a joiner.
In fact I remember several occasions I sat on the side lines afraid to join.
Worried how I might "look' to others.
And as I said I was not taught that.
Yes, I am ashamed I sat by.
I did not know my purpose was to do and show those around me what I stand for.
Dedication, Determination, Self Worth, Empowerment.
I have been told that I inspired someone.
To be honest during those times, it was by pure accident.
I was just being me.
Crazy huh.

Yet there are times I feel I am beating my head against a wall
working to inspire some.
I have another flaw, its control issues.
I am learning to let go of control and just pray.
I said learning. Not learned.
As an individual with a disability I did need to have control.
I needed to trust in myself and figure out how to deal with situations as they arise.
To control it so I could work it to be the best for me.
And it leaked into other areas of my life that cause trouble for me.

One thing I remember when I think of how I came to be me is first,
that my mom was always there. She pushed me, but it was silently.
More subtitle pushing. Not treating me differently than anyone else.
But then I think of my Grandpa.
He pushed more loudly.
He promised me a toy, any toy I wanted from Wal-Mart if I could walk across his
kitchen floor without my crutches.
It took some time. But you know what.
I got my toy.
As I got older he had to come up with more ways to get results from me.
I had learned to control.
I got stubborn. :)
He told me that I probably could never drive a car.
Yep, it worked too.
I drove for about a year and half.
He actually picked out one of my cars.

Now that he's gone I have to push myself.
I miss him often, and I cry to think of him so I don't often speak of it.
I just keep it for myself.
I will try to use what I have learned to empower those I meet.
I will continue to use my blog as a driving force toward
women everywhere knowing and learning who they are.
And growing into who they wish to be.